


140 Characters or Less

by Moonlark



Category: Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Compliant, F/M, M/M, Twitter, Written for a Class
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-02-22 22:10:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2523521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlark/pseuds/Moonlark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Romeo and Juliet, set in modern times, told through tweets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Character Twitter Handles and Bios

**Author's Note:**

> Rosaline tweets a lot.
> 
> My teacher is awesome in that she let me turn this in.

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes  
** Warning: will livetweet. If u like me, chances r I’ll break ur heart. )))

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule  
** Almost 14. Volunteers at local Animal Rescue League. Plays cello. Too young for commitment.

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties  
** Stay out of my way and away from my cousin.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16  
** Just a kindhearted boy looking for true love. Verona forever! 

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt  
** Currently surrounded by idiots 

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO  
** PUTTIN DA MESS IN HOT MESS!!! **@val_verona** is ma bro 

Paris  
 **@not_in_france  
** I’m a county, not a city. I mean county as in a count. Whatever. I’m a noble. You get what I mean. 

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince  
** I keep Verona a law-abiding city. Come to me with your civic problems.

Lord Capulet  
 **@Patriarch101  
** My family is better than your family. 

Lord Montague  
 **@Montague  
** Best dad ever. **@golden_boy16** says so.

Nurse  
 **@remembersusan  
** Widow, former mom, nurse for the Capulets. Will make inappropriate jokes until the end of time. 

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life  
** Repent ye! (Come to me and I’ll help.)

Balthasar  
@ **balthastrange  
** Romeo’s servant. I like my job

Sampson  
 **@littleC1  
** watch my thumb

Gregory  
 **@littleC2  
** no no watch _my_ thumb

Abraham  
 **@abraHAM  
** Going HAM

Lady Capulet  
 **@badmommies  
** ignore the subtext

Lady Montague  
 **@not_that_lady_M  
** Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage.

Valentine  
 **@val_verona  
** brother of human disaster **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO.** breaking the 4th wall since 1598 (why am i on here? i don’t even speak in the play)


	2. Chapter 2

Monday, June 8. 2:30pm

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** Sooo… **#summervacation**! B) 

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** Sunshine n swimming pools n all that shit—just feels good 2 b outside. 

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** Uh-oh… here comes mister kiss-kiss… **#idiot**  

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** how many times do i have 2 tell that boy i dont want him? never listgns. 

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** *listens 

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO:** haaaayy **@golden_boy16** someone subtweetin’ bout u

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** is it Rosaline? oh most beautiful Rosaline? has she finally said she likes me? **#truluv**  

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** 1 outta 3 rite. **#getoverit**

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** oh for fuck’s sake 

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** help me out here?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** with what?

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule #boys**

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** simple solution. log off and come on over. girls nite? **#noboys**

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** no boys invited. no boys allowed

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** (((

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** ur no fun anymore. **#apricot**

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, June 9. 11:30am

Sampson  
 **@littleC1:** *bites thumb*

Abraham  
 **@abraHAM:** do u bite ur thumb @ us? **#feud**

Sampson  
 **@littleC1:** do we? 

Gregory  
 **@littleC2:** yes we dooo!!!

Abraham  
 **@abraHAM:** then fight me!

Balthasar  
 **@balthastrange: #brawlatthemall**  

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @littleC1 @littleC2 @abraHAM @balthastrange** stop fighting its immature. There r starving kids in africa. guns in america. ebola everywhere.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @littleC1 @littleC2 @abraHAM @balthastrange** there’s an **#ItalyNT** game tomorrow. we should be getting pumped for that, not fighting **#futbol**

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @bennymt** who cares about futbol

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @tyfightsmonties** like, the whole world. but we still shouldnt fight **#peace**

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @bennymt** haha u scared

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @tyfightsmonties** tybalt no. please.

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @bennymt** fight, montague cur, fight! **#coward**

Lord Capulet  
 **@Patriarch101:** Fight! Down with the Montagues!

Lord Montague  
 **@Montague: @Patriarch101** You are a **#villain** and it is you who will go down!

[ _Rosaline  
_ ** _@haaha_bysshes:_** _just look at them fighting. how #_ ** _entertaining_** ]

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince: @tyfightsmonties @bennymt @littleC1 @littleC2 @abraHAM @balthastrange** EVERYBODY CALM DOWN!

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince:** This feud is pointless. There’s no reason behind it. If I catch you Montagues and Capulets disturbing the civic peace with your brawling (1/ 2)

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince:** (2/ 2)one more time, there will be hell to pay.

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince:** Death. Public execution. Beheading. So NO MORE BRAWLING OR ELSE! **#Justice**

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt:** harsh…

Lady Montague  
 **@not_that_lady_M: @bennymt @Montague** Where is Romeo? Glad he wasn’t fighting. 

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @not_that_lady_M** **@Montague** he’s moping in the sycamore grove.

Lord Montague  
 **@Montague:** **@bennymt** Do you know why?

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Montague** no but I’ll try and talk to him.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt:** hey **@golden_boy16**

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @bennymt** what

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** why are u so sad?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @bennymt** there’s this girl. she doesn’t luv me back.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** seems like the story of ur life

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @bennymt** *sighs*

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** sooo… who is it?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @bennymt** Rosaline. She’s oh so beautiful, but she says she’d rather stay a virgin forever than be with me.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** harsh… but come on. it’s Rosaline. there are prettier girls out there. 

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt @golden_boy16** yo wassup?

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** girl trouble **@golden_boy16**

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** Romeo u idiot get a handle on ur heart

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** hypocrite. get a handle on ur prick. we kno bout that thing with tybalt last yr

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** hehe a ‘hand’-le on my prick

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** ur so immature 

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** u luv it

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt @golden_boy16** hey me n **@val_verona** got invited 2 a **#party** @ the capulets. wanna come?

Valentine  
 **@val_verona: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** Sorry, i can’t make it. i don’t have any lines. 

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @val_verona** woah where did u come from?

Valentine  
 **@val_verona: @golden_boy16** the mind of a bisexual white guy from an uneducated background at the end of the sixteenth century. 

Valentine  
 **@val_verona: @golden_boy16** We all did. It was cool in there.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** ur brother’s weird man

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** not as weird as ur face! **#BURN**!!!

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** smh

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** but **@val_verona** ’s nice. little philosophical, but really smart. 

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** what do u know about intelligence?

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** more than yo mama

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** be nice

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16 @bennymt** anyway, wanna crash the capulet party 2nite?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO @bennymt** idk not 2 sure about that.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** Rosaline’ll be there

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @bennymt** *sighs* fine ill go. 

[ _Rosaline  
_ ** _@haaha_bysshes:_** _NO. THEY ARE NOT COMING TO THIS PARTY._ ]

 


	3. Chapter 3

Tuesday, June 9. 8:15pm

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16 @bennymt #PARTAAAAYYYTIME**!!!!!

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO @bennymt** i dunno im having second thoughts.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** why?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @bennymt** I had a dream.

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** so did MLK

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** that’s rude and inappropriate. i should tell ur uncle.

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** srry

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** don’t believe ur dreams. **#QueenMab** brings them. She’s the fairy that shows **#virgins** what 2 do.

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** taking advice from ur dreams is like living ur life by ur horoscope.

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** unless ur horoscope tells u 2 do something awesome, like go 2 a brothel or get in a fight

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** or let ur enemy have their way with u 4 a night?

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** 1 time, and they dont let u forget it… but yeah.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** it was more than 1 time, if i recall ur rants correctly

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** u wanna hear everything i recall

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** pls dont go tmi now

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16 @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** i second romeo on this one

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16 @bennymt** fine. but **#PARTAAAAYYY**!!!

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** Yeah, yeah, **#party** , i get ur point.

[ _Rosaline  
_ ** _@haaha_bysshes:_** _NO. NO PARTY. NOT FOR YOU. THAT IS THE POINT._ ]

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, June 9. 8:45pm

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** Ooohhh, pretty lady…

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** welp, we’ve lost him

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** let’s give lovebird a little space and go get drunk.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** Oh, that girl’s so **#beautiful**. She’s sun and stars material. I think I’m in love.

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties:** Holy mother of pearl! It’s a Montague! **#mockery**

Lord Capulet  
 **@Patriarch101: @tyfightsmonties** No, Tybalt. There will be no fights here and now. **#ItsAParty** Besides, it’s only Romeo.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @prettyjule** I love u.

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @golden_boy16** ohh-kay… ?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @prettyjule** can i kiss u?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @golden_boy16** umm—

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @prettyjule** *kisses*

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @golden_boy16** … not bad, actually.

Nurse  
 **@remembersusan: @prettyjule** your mom wants a word with you.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @remembersusan** who was that?

Nurse  
 **@remembersusan: @golden_boy16** Juliet Capulet. but shouldnt you know who someone is before you go and kiss them?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** A Capulet! what am i gonna do?’

[ _Rosaline  
_ ** _@haaha_bysshes:_** _oh no he didn’t!_ ]

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** Juliet Capulet! u r not going 2 go out with that guy, r u?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** so what if i do?

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** he spent the last week chasing me around. **#creep**

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** who is he?

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** Romeo. Romeo Montague.

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** oh good lord.

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** what did ur mom want 2 talk 2 u about?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** marriage. I don’t think i’m ready yet. but they want to give me to **@not_in_france**. 

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** ugh, Paris.

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** well, more like ugh, men.

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** yeah. You just go on saying that.

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, June 9. 11:30pm

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** what the fuck r u doing on ur balcony? it’s almost midnite!

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** Romeo stopped by.

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** *chokes* *gags* the hell? 

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** pls tell me u pushed him off the balcony. 

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** we’re getting married 2morrow.

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule …** that is the exact opposite of what i told u to do. 

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** he’s so dreamy… handsome and really sweet

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** alright. u go b happy in your delusional world. HE’S A MONTAGUE, U MORON!!! **#idiot**

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** I DON’T CARE, U MORON! I’M IN LOVE, U MORON!

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @prettyjule** and what do u think ur dad’s gonna say about this?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @haaha_bysshes** again, i don’t care.

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** whatever is the world coming to


	4. Chapter 4

Wednesday, June 10. 9:30am

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @church_is_lif** e me and **@prettyjule** want to get married. **#please**

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @golden_boy16 @prettyjule**  Why?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @church_is_life** because **@golden_boy16** and i love each other very much.

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @golden_boy16 @prettyjule** Okay. Maybe this’ll stop the feuding. **#peace** When?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @church_is_life**  is today okay?

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @golden_boy16 @prettyjule** Well, yes, if it’s not too fast for you…

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @church_is_life** that’s perfect! right? **@prettyjule**

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @church_is_life @golden_boy16** yep!

Friar Lawrence

 **@church_is_life: @golden_boy16 @prettyjule** Okay, come get married.

[ _Rosaline_  
 _**@haaha_bysshes** : *tour guide voice* and here on the left we see the **#idiots**_ ]

 

Wednesday, June 10. 11:45am

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** where the hell is **@golden_boy16**?

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** i dunno he didn’t come home last night

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt**  he must be lovesick. hope he’s not resorting to stalker like activity.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** again, i dunno. but **@tyfightsmonties**  wants to challenge him.

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt**  well we cant let that happen

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** why not?

Mercutio  
 **@** **Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** tybalt “fights” very well ;)

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** u would know.

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** he fights very rhythmically. he’s also quite rough, and he’s ruined more than one of my shirts with his sword. ;P

[ _Rosaline_  
 _**@haaha_bysshes:**  bleurgh_]

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** tmi, man. tmi

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO @bennymt** yo was u talking about me?

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** *sarcasm* yes we were!

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** where did u go last nite?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** can't tell u that.

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16**  why?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** i promised

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO:** cmon **@golden_boy16** im dying of curiosity over here

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** but ive already sealed my lips

Nurse  
 **@remembersusan: @golden_boy16** she said yes

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO:** who the hell are u? **@remembersusan**

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO @bennymt** all rite bye guys i gotta go get married! **#truluv**

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** wait what?

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** yeah WHAT?!!!

Romeo  
 **@** **golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO @bennymt** never mind

 

Wednesday, June 10. 12:30pm

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** come on, Mer. there are capulets around. also its hot out.

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** the heat doesn’t bother me. i’m too hot myself for it to.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** and what about the capulets? here they come.

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** do i look like i care?

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO @bennymt** where is **@golden_boy16**?

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @tyfightsmonties** why should we tell u? **#trollop**

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** ur the one who slept with 4 different guys in 2 days

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @tyfightsmonties** oh but 1 guy and 4 girls in the same time period is okay? **#** **doublestandards**

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** just wait til ur uncle disowns u, signior slore.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO @tyfightsmonties** public place, guys. we should stop fighting or go someplace private n talk it out

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** i aint movin

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO @bennymt @tyfightsmonties** someone say my name?

[ _Rosaline_  
 _ **@haaha_bysshes:** well this should get interesting…_ ]

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @golden_boy16** u r a **#villain**

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @tyfightsmonties** well that seems a little uncalled for

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @golden_boy16** fight me

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @tyfightsmonties** sorry i cant we’re family now

[ _Rosaline_  
 _**@haaha_bysshes:** no dont make that stop the fight. there should be some blood. gladiators, guys, come on_ ]

Tybalt  
@tyfightsmonties: @golden_boy16 what do u mean?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @tyfightsmonties** im not gonna fight u

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16** what the fukk Romeo

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @tyfightsmonties** fuck u

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** u about 2 fight me?

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @tyfightsmonties** bitch i might be

[ _Rosaline_  
 _ **@haaha_bysshes:** oh YES a fight _

_Rosaline_   
_**@haaha_bysshes:** Tybalt’s gonna win so bad _

_Rosaline_  
 _**@haaha_bysshes:** ooh maybe not. this other guy’s actually good…_ ]

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO @tyfightsmonties** stop fighting guys! the prince’ll get mad!

[ _Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** oh _

_Rosaline  
  **@haaha_bysshes:** ouch _

_Rosaline_  
 _**@haaha_bysshes:** that looks like it’ll really hurt come morning_ ]

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO:** WTF

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @golden_boy16 @bennymt**  did u see that? he stabbed me.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** r u hurt?

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** how bad is it?

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt:** someone get a doctor **@911**

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt @golden_boy16** its nothing, just a scratch

[ _Rosaline_  
 _**@haaha_bysshes:** that don’t look like no scratch. You should go see someone who went to med school ASAP._ ]

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt @golden_boy16** but in a lil bit i’ll be quite grave indeed

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** enough with the puns **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO**

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO:** …

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt @golden_boy16** u know, i might actually be hurt

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO:** oh god it hurts i might die what if i die oh god… **@golden_boy16 @tyfightsmonties** CURSE U AND UR FAMILIES TOO

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** Mer…

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: @bennymt** help me i dont wanna die in the street get me in some building or something

[ _Rosaline_  
 _**@haaha_bysshes:** welp he’s doomed_ ]

[ _911_  
 _**@911: @ThePrince** the monties and capues are at it again_ ]

…

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** Romeo oh god Mer’s dead he’s dead DEAD ROMEO HE’S DEAD MER’S DEAD

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @tyfightsmonties** I’LL KILL U 4 THIS! 1 OF US IS GONNA JOIN MER UP THERE IN THE SKY!

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @golden_boy16** haha not gonna be me

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @tyfightsmonties** WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT!

[ _Rosaline_  
 _**@haaha_bysshes:** holy shit mr kiss kiss actually followed thru on his threat _

_Rosaline_  
 _**@haaha_bysshes:** the old capulets aint gonna be happy_ ]

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** you killed tybalt.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** oh sweet jesus

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** the prince will kill u

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** oh sweet jesus

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @golden_boy16** u should probably get running

…

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince:** Who started this?

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @ThePrince** Tybalt did. he came looking 2 fight romeo. romeo said no so mercutio fought tybalt.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt: @ThePrince** tybalt killed mercutio n in revenge romeo killed tybalt.

Lady Capulet  
 **@badmommies: @ThePrince** He’s a Montague—he’s lying! Romeo must die!

Lord Montague  
 **@Montague: @ThePrince** But Tybalt killed Mercutio! The law demanded his life!

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince:** And that is why Romeo will be banished.

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince: @golden_boy16** YOU ARE BANISHED!

[ _Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** *sarcasm* well that wasn’t a chain of overreactions at all_ ]


	5. Chapter 5

Wednesday, June 10. 3:45pm

 

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @golden_boy16** I heard u killed my cousin. 

[ _Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes: #awkward**_ _…_ ]

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @prettyjule** i wasn’t planning to

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @golden_boy16** are u ok? 

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @prettyjule** i got banished

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @golden_boy16** wait if u r banished, why r u here? wont they kill u if they find u?

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @prettyjule** what’s the point in living if u aren’t with me?

[ _Rosaline  
_ _ **@haaha_bysshes:** *gags*_ ] 

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @golden_boy16** look, u go to mantua and we’ll keep in touch. I’ll find some way to join u there.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @prettyjule** okay.

 

…

 

Lord Capulet  
 **@Patriarch101: @prettyjule** To help you with your grief it has been decided that you will marry **@not_in_france** on Thursday.

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @Patriarch101** but dad i dont want to. I’m only fourteen. **#shestooyoung**

Lord Capulet  
 **@Patriarch101: @prettyjule** YOU WILL MARRY PARIS ON THURSDAY OR I WILL HAVE YOU BEHEADED

[ _Rosaline  
_ _ **@haaha_bysshes:** wed bed behead more like _ _‘wed and bed_ _’ or_ _‘behead_ _’_ _ **#sayno2arrangedmarriage #noboys**_ ]

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @Patriarch101** isn’t that a little unreasonable? 

Lord Capulet  
 **@Patriarch101: @prettyjule** NO! IT IS NOT UNREASONABLE! YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER! I OWN YOU! I WILL GIVE YOU TO THIS MAN AS I SEE FIT!

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @Patriarch101** yeah… imma go repent now… **#jesus**

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** Dear god pls save me my dad is acting like a psychopath 

[ _Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes:** Dear god pls save my friend her dad is acting like a psychopath_ ]

 

 

Wednesday, June 10. 5:15

 

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @church_is_life** my dad wants to marry me off 2 **@not_in_france** but im already married 2 **@golden_boy16**. Help me pls

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @prettyjule** um…

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @church_is_life** i’m desperate enough that i’m willing to kill myself if i can’t find any other options

Valentine  
 **@val_verona: @prettyjule @church_is_life** there are no options that will end happily that fit your story arc. otherwise we can’t have a proper catharsis

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @prettyjule** who was that?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @church_is_life** i have no idea. let’s just ignore him.

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @prettyjule** okay. I think I can help you.

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @prettyjule** here’s this potion. It will make you seem dead for 42 hours. Your family will put you in their vault.

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @prettyjule** You’ll wake up, but everyone will think you’re still dead, so it’ll be easy to sneak you out of Verona.

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @prettyjule** then you can meet up with Romeo and live happily ever after.

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @church_is_life** that sounds good. thx

[ _Rosaline  
_ _ **@haaha_bysshes:** *sarcasm* what could go wrong?_ ]

 

…

 

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @Patriarch101** Dad? i’m sorry. **@church_is_life** helped me see the light. I’ll marry **@not_in_france**.

Lord Capulet  
 **@Patriarch101: @prettyjule** Great. The wedding is tomorrow.

Paris  
 **@not_in_france: @prettyjule** I look forward to being your husband. **#love**

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @not_in_france** um… okay.

 

…

 

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** i’m getting nervous

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** what if this potion kills me?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** what if it doesn’t work? i wont marry Paris—no, this knife will end that possibility.

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** what if i wake up and go insane bc of the sight of tybalt’s body?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** what if i bash in my skull with some random ancestor’s thigh?

[ _Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes:** why a thigh?_ ]

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** better drink before i chicken out. *drinks*

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** *falls over stiff*

[ _Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes:** that_ _’s some good special effects, girl. u go._

_Valentine  
_ _**@val_verona: @haaha_bysshes** this is where it gets good._

_Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes: @val_verona** who r u?_

_Valentine  
_ _**@val_verona: @haaha_bysshes** a fellow spectator. I_ _’m just aware of my own fictionality._ _**#4thwall**_

_Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes: @val_verona** that sounds like an interesting philosophy. i might have 2 try_ _it sometime_

_Valentine  
_ _**@val_verona: @haaha_bysshes** it takes u places_ _—usually 2 other stories_

 _Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes: @val_verona** sounds fun **#travel #enlightenment**_ ]  

 

 

 

Thursday, June 11. 7:30am

 

Nurse  
 **@remembersusan: @prettyjule** wake up! 

Nurse  
 **@remembersusan: @prettyjule** wakey wakey! 

Nurse  
 **@remembersusan:** oh Lord she’s dead!

Lord Capulet  
 **@Patriarch101:** SHE’S DEAD?!!! 

Lady Capulet  
 **@badmommies:** NOOOOO!!! 

Paris  
 **@not_in_france:** my bride! *sobs* 

[ _Rosaline  
_   ** _@haaha_bysshes:_** _Noo! she_ _’s faking death to escape from boys! **#noboys**_

 ****_Valentine  
_ ** _@val_verona:_ _@haaha_bysshes #lol_** _it doesn_ ' _t work. it_ _’s a tragedy._

_Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes: @val_verona** spoilers much? **#dontgiveitaway**_

_Valentine  
_ ** _@val_verona:_ _@haaha_bysshes_** _srry_ ]

 

 

 

Thursday, June 11. 5:30pm

 

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy1:** i’m bored.

Balthasar  
 **@balthastrange: @golden_boy16** Juliet’s dead.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy1: @balthastrange** thats not funny Balthasar. **#badjokesarebad**

Balthasar  
 **@balthastrange: @golden_boy16** im not joking.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy1: @balthastrange** what… NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

…

 

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @poorapothecary** sell me poison. **#cyanide**   

Apothecary  
 **@poorapothecary: @golden_boy16** that’s illegal

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @poorapothecary** u r poor. i have money. ergo u should sell me poison so u can get said money. **#cyanide**

Apothecary  
 **@poorapothecary: @golden_boy16** okay here’s the poison

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @poorapothecary** thx here’s the money. keep the change.

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy1: @balthastrange** take me 2 verona.

Balthasar  
 **@balthastrange: @golden_boy16** okay


	6. Chapter 6

Thursday, June 11. 7:15pm

 

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @ITPS** did my letter get delivered to Romeo?

Italy Postal Service  
 **@ITPS: @church_is_life** who even uses snail mail nowadays?

Italy Postal Service  
 **@ITPS: @church_is_life** if you want to get in touch with this Romeo, just tweet him.

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @ITPS** he doesn’t have good service in Mantua.

Italy Postal Service  
 **@ITPS: @church_is_life** well neither do we, with the whole Ebola thing.

Friar Lawrence  
 **@church_is_life: @ITPS** golly-gosh-darn-it. 

[ _Rosaline  
_ _ **@haaha_bysshes: @val_verona** wow ok i see what u mean this is going downhill fast._

_Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes: @val_verona** and we don_ _’t do anything?_

_Valentine  
_ _**@val_verona:** _ **_@haaha_bysshes_** _if we interfere, we mess up the narrative and then there_ _’s a_ _hole in the story-time continuum_

_Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes: @val_verona** that sounds bad_

_Valentine  
_ _ **@val_verona:**_ **_@haaha_bysshes_** _it_ _’s mildly annoying_ ]

 

 

 

Friday, June 12. 3:30am

 

Paris  
 **@not_in_france:** I’m here to mourn my dead girlfriend.

Page  
 **@pageforhire: @not_in_france** yes you’ve told me that. 

Paris  
 **@not_in_france:** **@pageforhire** stay here

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** Evil earth, how dare you try to swallow my Juliet. *opens vault*

Paris  
 **@not_in_france:** Woah it’s the montague villain, here to deface my girlfriend’s tomb. I’ll fight him.

Paris  
 **@not_in_france: @golden_boy16** u r **#vile**!

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @not_in_france** u don’t know what u r saying and doing. pls stop. tempt not a desperate man

Paris  
 **@not_in_france: @golden_boy16** fight me 

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @not_in_france** smh… fine. it’s not like my life matters anymore. Yours is worth more.

[ _Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes:** ouchies_

_Valentine  
_ _**@val_verona: @haaha_bysshes** Poor Paris_ _…he_ _’s just trying to do right by his dead fianc_ _é. and he dies for it._

_Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes: @val_verona #boys** if they were all girls and had bothered 2 stop and_ _think about their actions none of this would've happened_

_Valentine  
 _ _ **@val_verona: @haaha_bysshes** sadly, if they were all girls, Shakespeare would've never _ _gotten published. He might_ _’ve gotten killed, though. England_ _’s religion back then didn_ _’t believe in blatant homosexuality_ ]

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** welp there goes the **#bodycount**

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** oh no my Juliet. still beautiful, but it’s a dead beauty

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** she’s dead *sobs*

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** *kisses Juliet*

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** *drinks poison* *dies*

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** im awake! that was a long **#nap**

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @golden_boy16** Romeo

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @golden_boy16** Romeo? Romeo…?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** he’s dead *sobs*

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** here’s a knife ill kill myself

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule:** *stabs self* *dies*

[ _Rosaline  
_ _**@haaha_bysshes:** aaaand there goes even more of the **#bodycount**_ ]

 

 

 

Friday, June 12. 4:45am

 

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince: @Montague @Patriarch101** Come here. See the result of your foul feuding.

Lord Montague  
 **@Montague: @ThePrince** my wife died last night

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince: @Montague** Your wife is not the only person who died last night. There lies Romeo’s body, and fair Juliet.

Lord Montague  
 **@Montague:** NOOOO! My son, my only heir! 

Lord Capulet  
 **@Patriarch101:** My daughter! NOOOO!

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince:** **#ALLAREPUNISHED**

Lord Montague  
 **@Montague: @Patriarch101** let’s not fight anymore

Lord Montague  
 **@Montague: @Patriarch101** I’ll put up a statue of your daughter covered in gold.

Lord Capulet  
 **@Patriarch101: @Montague** and i’ll put one of your son up right next to it so their love can endure the centuries 

Prince Escalus  
 **@ThePrince:** that way, hopefully people will hear this sad tale and realize that feuding only brings **#pain** and **#woe**.

 

…

 

Valentine  
 **@val_verona:** **@haaha_bysshes** so what did u think?

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** **@val_verona** mr kiss kiss was too **#hasty**. it was all his fault

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** **@val_verona** well and tybalt and mercutio should get some **#blame** too bc they couldn't stop fighting 

Valentine  
 **@val_verona:** **@haaha_bysshes** u kno, there are kids in english classes right now talking about the exact same thing **#reality**

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** **@val_verona** yay

 

…

 

Valentine  
 **@val_verona:** and then there were 3

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** **@val_verona** who?

Valentine  
 **@val_verona:** **@haaha_bysshes** u, me, and Benvolio

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** **@val_verona** wait, **@bennymt**? that guy? i forgot all about him.

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt:** **@haaha_bysshes** **@val_verona** i would prefer 2 b forgotten—leave me 2 my grief in peace.

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes: @bennymt** woah why so mopey?

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt:** **@haaha_bysshes** do u really need 2 ask? my cousin and my best friend/boyfriend have **_#DIED_**.

Valentine  
 **@val_verona: @bennymt** they may have died in this incarnation, there are others where they don’t

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** **@val_verona** oh, u mean everybody live AUs?

Valentine  
 **@val_verona:** **@haaha_bysshes** well, really more like Alternate Stories than Alternate Universes… but yeah 

Valentine  
 **@val_verona:** **@haaha_bysshes** let’s give three cheers for fanfic

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt:** **@haaha_bysshes** **@val_verona** wait if there are AUs where everyone survives then can we go to one of those?

Valentine  
 **@val_verona: @bennymt** technically, yes, but we should probs wait a bit before going so there’s less of an uproar when the surviving kids just vanish

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt:** **@val_verona** okay i feel a little better now **#notmuch #stilldepressed**

Valentine  
 **@val_verona:** **@haaha_bysshes @bennymt** so… in the meantime… anyone wanna go and dissolve some social constructs?

Rosaline  
 **@haaha_bysshes:** **@val_verona** that… that actually sounds like a **#fun** idea

Benvolio  
 **@bennymt:** **@val_verona** **@haaha_bysshes** my social constructs are already gone *sobs*

Valentine  
 **@val_verona:** **@haaha_bysshes @bennymt** okay cool lets go do that

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO:** haaaayy twitter

Paris  
 **@not_in_france:** woah u can tweet in heaven **#paradise**

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: #ghostlife**

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO** shut up

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16: @Mer_cutie_YOOOOO @tyfightsmonties** guys u cant fight u r dead 

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @golden_boy16** u r hot when u r trying 2 keep the peace

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO:** *gags*

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties:** *gags*

Paris  
 **@not_in_france:** woah they actually agreed on something its a miracle

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO:** shut up

Tybalt  
 **@tyfightsmonties:** shut up 

Paris  
 **@not_in_france:** woah they did it again 

Romeo  
 **@golden_boy16:** *makes out with **@prettyjule** * 

Paris  
 **@not_in_france: @prettyjule** hey why don’t i get to do that?

Juliet  
 **@prettyjule: @not_in_france** bc i never loved u i was married 2 Romeo the whole time 

Paris  
 **@not_in_france:** *frowns* sniff *sobs* 

Mercutio  
 **@Mer_cutie_YOOOOO: #heavenparty       (** **ノ￣ー￣)** **ノ** **〜(** **￣** **△** **￣〜)** **┗(** **＾0** **＾)** **┓**


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